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fighting for or with people?

Published on May 31st, 2012

I recently read the following in Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by Reggie Joiner.  It’s something that’s been challenging me as a father.

“Sometimes it is easy to forget that you can win the argument and force the right behavior but lose the heart in the process.  A fifteen-year-old won’t respond to a a style of interaction to which he or she responded at age five.  Your control naturally diminishes as a child becomes a teenager and then an adult.  Seeing clearly the priority of love and communicating in a way that gives the relationship value has helped me tremendously as a father and husband.  Every family fights, but there is a world of difference between when you fight with someone and when you fight for someone.  When you fight with someone, you want to win.  When you fight for someone, you want that person to win.  When you fight with people, walls are built up.  When you fight for people, walls come down.  When you fight with people, relationships are jeopardized.  When you fight for people, relationships are prioritized.”

 

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